Mercifully, 2011 is in my rearview mirror. It was a year of incredible lows and amazing highs. In January 2011 I was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, bone marow failure due to autoimmune aplastic anemia. Running took a backseat to survival. There are still no guarantees for the long-term. My genius doctor tells me that "we don't lose our aplastics anymore" which is somewhat comforting. Still, it was a shock to be told that my autoimmune system had been systematically destroying my bone marrow for approximately a year prior to my final diagnosis. My initial thought, after "am I going to die?" was "So THAT'S why my times were taking a nosedive!" By the time I was diagnosed, I could no longer run, walk, work, lift or breathe easily. My bone marrow could not make blood, therefore, my oxygen levels were depleted. I could sit and I could sleep, that's it.
I was treated at Massachusetts General Hospital, and following a 9 month recuperation period, I was able to return to work and to walking on my treadmill. I'll most likely be on a host of medications for the rest of my life to keep me in remission. Luckily, so far, I've experienced very few side-effects other than unbridled anxiety and panic attacks which have almost entirely subsided as I continue in remission. Recovery is not in the cards without a bone marrow transplant, which doesn't seem likely to be necessary as long as the medications keep me in remission.
What they know about the cause(s) of AAA can be put on the head of a pin: virus? radiation? toxins? For me, most likely a virus. My doctors said I was "hit by lightening", i.e., a random happening, since 3 people in 1,000,000 are diagnosed each year in the US with autoimmune aplastic anemia.
So now it's 2012. What have I learned during my "lost year"? I learned life lessons that I didn't know in January 2011 that's for sure. I learned the following:
1.I learned that I'm stronger & tougher than I ever knew I was. I thought I was just the opposite, that a significant illness would break me having never been seriously ill in my entire life. I had no experience to draw upon. My life was threatened and I found strength I never dreamed I had. I was NOT going to let this take me and I fought it every day, every way I knew how.
2. I learned that my family loves me more than I realized! I actually never really gave it much thought about how much I was loved (other than my wife, who loves me more than life itself). I was so busy loving my wife, adoring my kids & grandchildren, loving my extended family, friends, & work colleagues, that I never really stopped to consider my importance to them. The outpouring of love & support to me was nothing short of humbling. I have incredible people in my life and am so blessed that it's hard to describe it.
3. I learned that I can still think. My work is vital to my mental (& financial) health and I am thankful that I can still do my work and produce at the highest level of my abilities.
4. I learned that I need to run. Falling in love with running in 2008 was one of the best things to ever happen to me, and I will always be grateful to my wonderful son & daughter-in-law who guided me and mentored me when I first considered running to see if I would like it (I did!)
5. I learned that I have the best wife in the world who never left my side during my hospital stay, and who patiently cared for me without complaint thru every moment of my illness. I could not have gone through this without her and I wouldn't have recovered without her love and support.
6. I learned that God heard my prayers and wanted me whole. I owe my recovery to HIm.
So, on to 2012.
Runner gal pal and I have begun running again as of December 2011. My times need improvement, & my endurance is slowly re-building. A few weeks ago we ran 5 miles in 80 minutes (16 min mile) which wasn't so bad all things considered. Santa brought me an iPhone for Christmas 2011. I've downloaded Mapmyrun and Lose it! apps (I lived but gained 20+ lbs without exercise or running for most of 2011).
I've decided to train for the Johnny Kelley Half Marathon scheduled for Memorial Day 5/31/12. I will be running to raise funds to support the Leukemia and Bone Marrow Transplant Clinic, Massachusetts General Hospital, Boston MA where I was treated so successfully by a brilliant and caring doctor and nurses. As we get closer to the 1/2 marthon, I will post a link to my fund raising website.
Thank you to all who stood by me during my illness. You were all the reasons why I made it.
